If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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