she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
