Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
