when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
a search helicopter?!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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