I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
