All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
A+ Viking dick
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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