Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
