i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
