they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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