i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm sobbing to NWA
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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