Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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