you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Two words: blizzard sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
