Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
