i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
