Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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