so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize