Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
