I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
