She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you inspire me to be a worse person
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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