I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
