addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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