Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
