when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
