We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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