its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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