Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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