Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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