Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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