I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
