peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
