This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
