You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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