My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
