Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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