Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
