I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
