how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
