i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
