having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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