guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
