I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
