LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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