Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
