yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
