so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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