I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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