DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
