You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
