I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
