i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sarcasm needs its own font
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
