in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need moral support for this bender
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
