We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
