New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
