wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize