so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
