Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
