Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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