Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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