Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
