I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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