quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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