well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
