drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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